


Night at the Riddler Museum!

by Jediqueer



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:26:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29295117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jediqueer/pseuds/Jediqueer
Summary: Edward Nygma, AKA the Riddler, has gone straight! Probably. Naturally the best course of action is for him to establish a villain honoring the various villains of Gotham City and the DCU. This can only go well.
Kudos: 3





	1. Prologue - a Dark and Stormy Knight

Edward Nygma stood in his office, hands on hips. Everything was set. The office space was large (naturally), decorated in green and purple (naturally), and every piece of furniture and ornamentation was neat, tidy, and positioned in the most mathematically pleasing order possible (naturally). Every document was in a row, every pen in line, everything exactly where it was supposed to be. Everything ready for tomorrow. He allowed himself a smile, turning his back and consulting his watch. "And a three, two, one..." Suddenly, the lights went out. There was a cool chill in the air, running down his back. He stood a little straighter, turning around. "Batman." He said, more an acknowledgement than a greeting. The figure in front of him was huge. Just a big dark shape, really, with those bright white eyes of his. Eddie knew well enough that this was all affect. The lights clicking out was either an EMP or simply a localized cut on the power-grid. Having just been in bright light, his eyes wouldn't have adjusted to the dark - and with any light from the street coming in behind Batman, all he'd see was a big dark shape. Where he would be far more clearly visible to the dark intruder. He did note that the window was open, not broken - that was considerate.  
  
"Nygma." Came the reply. A bassy rumble that vibrated through his chest. A slight twinge of something mechanical - like the voice was being projected or altered in some way. He was fairly sure he switched it up every once in a while, just so even the regular customers wouldn't be entirely sure what he was. "This museum. Really think it's a good idea to open up something like this in a town as volatile as Gotham?" He asked. His tone was dry... but a little mocking, too. Eddie told himself he was being paranoid, his very over-priced therapist had made it quite clear he needed to work on that, as if he couldn't have figured it out himself. But that question was a challenge - a challenge for which he was prepared.  
  
"Not particularly. I've disarmed every exhibit, they're all but hollow shells now - all the public needs to see is the exterior anyway. Every villain featured here is an old friend... sort of, I mean they did make me pay through the nose for all this. And some of them are betting on how long before this all goes hilariously wrong, on the condition that no one actually go make it happen, which keeps them relatively entertained for now." He began pacing. "The exhibits are tasteful - I think you'll actually like the one about you - no one is painted as the villain, everything is fun and engaging, and frankly when things get going I think it'll be an excellent draw for tourism, so..." _so eat shit,_ _basically,_ Eddie thought. This whole change came from a revelation that the game just wasn't fun anymore. There was no whimsy, anymore. Just... murder. A lot of murder. Too much, really. That was never the point to him. It happened, sure, no use crying over it, but to him it was about the game. Proving how clever he was, playing cat and mouse. But you can't ever win if you're the mouse... so, he'd stopped playing. Lied his way out of Arkham, presented a stellar legal defense, and used what was left of his ill gotten gain to buy this place and the exhibits inside. Truth be told if this venture went under her was pretty damn screwed. He needed this to go well.  
  
"I checked your exhibits. I know they're not armed. Can't say the same for your 'friends'. They're unpredictable and I can't guarantee they won't attack this place." He said. Did his posture just... soften, a tiny bit? Did he seem less accusatory than before? Eddie quirked a brow. "I came to let you know I'm still keeping an eye on you. I know you faked your way out of Arkham. But this... is not what I was expecting. It's a good fit for you. If this isn't just an elaborate cover." _Faint praise? Just a tiny bit? Gosh Batman, you'll make me blush.  
  
  
_"It's not! Really. Look. Sitting around in Arkham waiting to meet their exacting standards of sanity was unproductive. I'm still seeing a very overpriced Therapist, and I'm not running a con. I don't want to go back to that life - but I don't want to forget it, either. It wasn't all bad!" Batman gave him a look. His eyes had adjusted enough by now that he could make it out. "Well maybe not from _your_ perspective, sure." he waved a hand, dismissively. "I mean really. Harley and Ivy are running around like Bonnie and Clyde, doing the whole Anti-hero thing, and you'll give them a chance but not me?" Batman shifted, standing taller. Eddie felt himself flinching a little. A hand extended from the shadowy mass of Batman's cape - extended, open palm. He said nothing. Eddie took the hand, and Batman... shook it? Firmly, but still.  
  
"I'll be keeping an eye on you." He said. A slight squeeze - then he let go. The lights came on, making Eddie blink. Batman was gone. The window was still open. The pens on his desk were ever so slightly out of place.   
  
"Huh."  
  
Eddie turned around with a grin, stepping out of the door and shutting it behind him. The light clicked off again. He left the pens as they were - slightly out of place.


	2. Opening Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cass and Steph do Recon at the Riddler Museum. 
> 
> Cass is trying to figure out if they're on a date.

The first thing Cassandra Cain noticed about the building was... how gaudy it was. As far as she could tell, it had always been a museum. The architecture was vaguely Greco-Roman, with large columns leading up to an angled roof. However... the whole thing was a deep shade of green, now. There were accentuations of purple and black, with neon-green LED-strips spiraling up each column. While this wasn't technically a Riddler Museum, the style choices reflected the owner, leading to an unofficial nickname on day one. "Gotham... Musum... of Suppervalinoy." She said. And then heard a snorting laugh come from beside her. Stephanie Brown, her best friend, and kind of a dick sometimes. Steph always had a bright smile on her face, framed by a short bob of straw-blonde hair that Cass thought made her face look rounder and kind of sunny. She felt her cheeks go a little hot at the laugh, though.  
  
"Sorry. I'm not making fun of you, it's just... we've been standing in line for like, an hour, you've barely said anything to me and then out of nowhere... Gotham Musum of Suppervalinoy." She said, still grinning. _Care. Amusement._ Cass blinked, then gave her a smile. She had to try and re-order herself a bit. For most of her life she'd never been taught to speak, just to see people's intentions from how they moved, interpret them through body language rather than words. She'd been expanding her vocabulary substantially since Batman - Bruce, she reminded herself, took her in. But it meant that sometimes her natural ability to read people lapsed into her inner monologue. It was a consequence of something good, though - now that it expressed itself in words, she could sometimes turn it off. She wasn't reading everyone all the time. She could be around people and _not_ know exactly what they were thinking, if she chose to. Unless she stopped concentrating, like she just had.  
  
"I couldn't see the sign properly from before!" She protested, giving Steph a gentle nudge. "You'd been quiet too." She pointed out.  
  
"That's fair. Guess I'm just bored. I thought we'd be in now. I mean. What's the point in paying fifty bucks for VIP access if you have to stand in line for an hour?" That last sentence was juuuust a little louder than the last, and Cass giggled a bit. It's not like either of them had actually paid for those tickets.  
  
"You're the one who slept late." She noted. Mild indignance from Steph.  
  
"I got the morning shift last night!"  
  
"You made Tim let you go to this instead of him."  
  
"It's a supervillain museum, Cass, I'm not NOT gonna go." Steph replied, matter of factly. Cass wasn't really sure what that had to do with anything but Steph seemed pretty sure it did. The queue moved up a little. They were finally almost to the front of the line. "I swear, if there's more Queue inside, I'm declaring that as proof that Riddler's still evil." Cass laughed, which made Steph smile. She suddenly felt a little self conscious, cheeks getting hot again. "Besides. I wanted to go with you someplace anyway. Not for work stuff." She said. That didn't help her general sheepishness. She wanted to hang out with her 'Not for work stuff' too. But she still wasn't totally sure that it was the same sort of 'Not work stuff' that Steph was thinking of. She didn't really know what to do with her feelings and she definitely didn't want to make them Steph's problem, so she'd always stayed quiet. But... she wasn't the best at being natural about it.  
  
"For... the fun?" She asked. _Oh great, Cass, you sound like Dick's girlfriend._ She mostly got language now - but she tended to make more mistakes around Steph over stuff like this. Steph loved it, though, and was giggling again.  
  
"Yeah. Gonna have so much the fun." She said, and Cass felt fingers lacing with her own. Steph held her had and gave it a squeeze. Cass felt like she was going to burst, managing to smile - before looking the other way, knowing that she was blushing like a tomato.  
  


* * *

  
A few minutes later they actually reached the front door. They had to wait for some people to clear out before they were allowed in, in which Steph struck up casual conversation with the poor kid (Gary, according to his nametag) handling the ticket Kiosk, who had apparently been doing this all day pretty much by himself. She seemed to decide he wasn't a henchman, but put another point toward her "Riddler is still a villain" theory given the ridiculous workload he'd given to poor Gary. She'd also been holding Cass' hand for most of it, so Cass hadn't really been able to participate meaningfully in the conversation. Her ticket had come with a free audio tour - a pair of headphones emblazoned with Question Marks that could read out the text on each exhibit via a free app. That little detail made her happy. She knew Bruce had bought the tickets, she hadn't specifically asked him to do this, but only because she didn't like asking for help with her reading. Barbara had gotten her started, but now she mostly preferred to learn alone. Bruce knew this... while still knowing she wouldn't really be able to read anything without a little help, and asking Steph to read for her would have just made her feel worse. This was a way for him to address that without her having to put herself on the spot, or without him having to bring it up and embarrass her. Thoughtful - in a very typically Batman way. She slipped the headphones on but nudged one side off of her ear - the side closest to Steph. As they entered the Museum proper - it suddenly seemed very much like this had all been worth it.  
  
The Foyer was large, hexagonal, with a massive Question Mark trophy in the center, the bottom of which was surrounded by a cylinder of thick glass. The actual base of the trophy was a black semi-transparent cube, showing off various cables and wires just under the surface that seemed to keep the light on - but she supposed part of the question was "What else can this massive, complicated thing do?" A mystery right of the gate, which she liked. On top of that was the question-mark itself. It was blocky, all sharp right angles and corners, made of some kind of frosted Perspex that carried the light evenly through a whole thing - a vibrant green color. It was an impressive centerpiece.   
The outer walls were various colors, adorned to match the aesthetic of the various villains immortalized within. It gave the inside a sort of patchwork affect, almost like a theme-park. Each wall had an archway, all leading off to the main exhibits on Gotham's Rogues, seemingly organized from left to right in terms of oldest to newest. That was just a guess on Cass' part based on who she could see and where they were, which admittedly wasn't everyone. But if it was the case, it was probably a diplomatic move - putting all the most well known villains front and center would probably really piss off the less famous ones and might even provoke a violent response. Doing it as a timeline meant things were spread a little more evenly, with lesser known villains like Kite-Man standing right alongside people like Two-Face. But none of that seemed to be made explicit anywhere. You could go through however you wanted, but there was a relatively non-specific 'Right' path for someone to take to see all the exhibits if they figured it out. And of course the Right path started on the left, but lead to the Right - the Right Way. She kinda liked that, too.   
The building seemed to have a second and third floor, two balconies up high. The second floor was about halfway up the big question mark, the third just a little higher than its highest point. There was an elevator on the far wall, but no stairs that she could see. Weird. And then Steph was grabbing her hand again, excitedly pulling her to the Rightmost arch. "Come on! Let's see what's up." She beamed. Cass stopped, and Steph looked a little confused.  
  
"It's left to right." She said. Crap! That came out more blunt than she'd meant it to. She'd gotten lost in thought a bit and hadn't realised how that might come off. _Embarrassment. Surprise. Self-Consciousness._ Dammit, she'd upset her.  
  
"I- sorry, guess I didn't notice?" She smiled. She was trying to breeze past it - most of the time, Steph dealt with her feelings by trying to just move on, or make a joke out of it - but she wasn't as confident as she liked to put out and Cass could tell she'd made her feel stupid. She had to reassure her - but getting all gushy or specific would just make things weird. So reassuring, but brief.  
  
"It's fine." _It's FINE?! That is the worst possible thing you could have said!_ She turned and started walking, deciding that physically moving on was the only way to actually... move on. She was holding Steph's hand still... but now she felt like she was leading her in a bit of a patronising way, so she let go. Steph seemed pretty... deflated by that. _Why couldn't you just figure out what to say? Why can't you just be normal? Now she's sad - this was supposed to be a fun friend thing. Just be normal!_ She quietly fumed at herself. She just needed to move on, get past this awkwardness and get on with the... nice friend thing. She escaped into the first exhibit, Steph not far behind her.   
  
The first Exhibit was... Catwoman. Cass hadn't expected that - she'd known Selina had been a villain, as far as she knew she'd only stopped just after Dick quit being Robin - but she'd never know that Selina had been the first. There was a statue depicting her in her original costume; a deep purple skintight bodysuit featuring long clawed gloves and thigh-high boots, with a cowl similar to the original Batgirl's - only sporting a pair of large ears. There was even a tail. The exhibit was laid out in red neon on black walls, with some posters and polaroids arranged on a corkboard next to the statue. Each image was of either a heist Catwoman had done, a newspaper clipping about her famous encounters, images of her various costumes through the years - all with a little explanation on a plaque beneath the board. There were also display cases holding various bits and pieces - a pair of red tinted goggles, a coiled whip, some caltrops, and some sort of magnetic rail thing for climbing buildings. Huh. Cass thought that sort of looked like Bat-Tech... but before she could consider the implications there, her headphones chimed on.  
  
 _'While not technically a villain anymore, The Catwoman was the first costumed criminal to appear in Gotham. This was shortly after the appearance of the Batman, potentially even in response to his first outing. Catwoman is one of very few 'villains' in Gotham to never be incarcerated or captured by The Batman, her secret identity remaining a mystery. She now operates as a vigilante, often aiding Batman - and the two seem to have an on-again, off-again relationship. Guess the Cat's out of the Bag on why she never got caught, huh?'_ Riddler's voice was surprisingly subdued, with just a little flair but none of his usual pageantry. It was almost weird how normal he sounded, too. _'Looking to the right, you'll see a Catalogue of our Cat-Burglar's most famous capers, starting with -'_ Cass rolled her eyes a little, clicking the app to stop reading. It was fairly typical that it'd be HIS voice for the rest of the tour and she wasn't sure how long she could stand listening to him talk. She glanced over, seeing Steph standing with her hands on her hips, looking irritably at the statue. "You look... annoyed."  
  
"I am. I'm always annoyed when I see Catwoman."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because she looks amazing but in a really judgey way."   
  
"I'm pretty sure she doesn't do it on purpose?" Cass offered, diplomatically.  
  
"She definitely does. Her butt looks amazing and it's judging me for not doing more squats." Steph stuck out her tongue at the Statue.  
  
"Your butt looks amazing." Cass added. And then immediately realised what she'd said. Before she had the chance to apologize, Steph was giggling.  
  
"Cass, you always know what to say." She gave Cass a quick hug that made her blush again. _If only that were true,_ Cass thought. Steph had taken her by the hand again, now leaning quite close to her. Cass suddenly really wished she was wearing a mask - Steph did this while they were on patrol together sometimes, and it was easier to hide how flustered she was getting with her face covered. "Come on, I wanna go see if every exhibit has a pun."


	3. Every Exhibit Has a Pun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steph and Cass find something surprising in the Riddler's Museum.
> 
> Unsurprisingly - Every Exhibit has a pun.

Steph lead the way up the stairs to the second floor. Batman... had had to deal with a lotta bullshit that she didn't know about. She honestly couldn't believe that some of them were even real. Crazy Quilt? Seriously? It was kind of amazing, to be honest... though sort of a weird experience to see exhibits for people who'd tried to kill her once or twice. Riddler's own exhibit was substantially larger than anyone else's, which seemed about right. Although if she was being charitable, she'd assume it was just because he wouldn't have had to buy any of the stuff to fill it out. Cass had also found The correct way to go - apparently it was in chronological order. The First part was from left to right, but once they'd entered the leftmost archway, Cass had insisted there was a specific zig-zagging pattern back and forth that you were supposed to go in - which she had then proven by pointing out a faint green line on the black ceiling that pointed from exhibit to exhibit. Steph had been pretty amazed, really. Cass was quiet a lot of the time, still figuring herself out and still finding some things difficult - but she had these moments where she came out of herself a little and showed off how clever she was. Steph loved those moments. She turned around and watched - Cass was looking up, and then to the side, then down - seeming pretty engrossed in the little mystery she'd uncovered. Steph grinned, stopping at the top of the stairs - letting a distracted Cass bump into her. "O-oh! Sorry." Cass seemed a little flustered, trying to avoid eye contact. Steph grinned.  
  
"It's all good. I was just thinking you should probably lead, seeing as how you're the one following the trail." She noted. Cass gave her a little smile, instead opting to stand next to her.  
  
"It's fun. Ba- Bruce says I'm getting better at this." She said, starting back on the path. Steph took her hand again, waited a second - and, yup, on cue, Cass suddenly found an excuse to turn her head and hide her face. Steph tried not to laugh, ending up having to look the other way to hide her grin. She liked her. A lot. And she thought Cass might, too. But she wanted to let Cass make the first move - she dropped hints pretty frequently that she was interested, but given all that Cass had gone through she thought it would be best to let her make that call when SHE felt ready for it. Then again, she was starting to think Cass was totally missing all the signals she was putting out.  
  
"For sure! Plus, watching you figuring it out has made this day a lot more fun." She squeezed Cass' palm. Cass looked like she was trying to look Steph's way while also keeping her head facing the other direction. Oh my god, this was torture. She had the strongest urge to ask her out then and there but - no, she had to be strong. She had to wait.  
They followed a back and forth pass between exhibits, coming to another large on - the Joker. Steph grimaced a little - the Mannequin was a very close representation, and that wide smile was still just... creepy. There was a lot of paraphenalia - and a lot of detail on the severity of Joker's crimes. Steph had thought that most of the exhibits seemed sort of... as unbiased as possible, just stating facts without romanticizing or absolving anyone, but the plaque detailing who Joker was and what he'd done was the closest any of the exhibits had come to expressing outright disgust. She figured that might be to stop people from getting mad or accusing him of white-washing evil people, but there was a fair chance Eddie just really didn't like the Joker, too. They moved on to a few weirder ones - Kite Man (Hell Yeah), Deacon Blackfire, The Firefly, and... Condiment King? She called Bullshit on that last one, that HAD to be fake. Cass lead her around a corner - and she froze.  
  
The next exhibit was on Black Mask.  
  
Steph looked at the carved black skull, the dead, hollow eyes. He wore a shirt and tie with rolled up sleeves. His hands were covered in blood. He was coming toward her - she turned, quickly walking away. Just, anywhere. She felt a hand on her shoulder and spun around, fist raised- but Cass caught her by the wrist. She didn't say anything, just pulled her into a tight, sudden hug, and held her there for a few long moments, letting Steph catch her breath. It had been a year ago, she told herself. It was over. Black Mask was dead. He couldn't hurt her anymore. He was dead. She breathed out, steadying herself. Cass gave her a long look. "Do you want to leave?" She asked. Steph shook her head.  
  
"I'll be okay. I just... I wasn't expecting that but I guess I should have been." She said, softly. "Really, I'm okay. It's still a nice friend thing." She smiled. She looked... tired, more than anything else. Cass gave her another hug, resting her head on Steph's shoulder. She had to stand up on her toes a little to do it - they had a similar build, but Steph was quite a bit taller than her. The act made her smile a little, resting her cheek against Cass' soft hair for a moment, before they separated. It was Steph's turn to blush - but she didn't try to hide it. Nor did Cass, this time.

The rest of the way didn't have any unwanted surprises - and Cass had tried to go out of her way to distract her. Honestly her excitedly pointing out people who's asses she'd kicked was just so... her. Steph adored it. Cass had rather excitedly - and a little morbidly - asked her to take a picture of her with the Statue of Killer Croc. It was rigged up to be posed with, clearly - bending forward, large jaws wide open, sharp teeth on full display. Cass had angled herself so it looked like her head was gonna get bitten off, something Steph knew for sure had happened once - and then asked her to send it to Bruce. Cass seemed to find it hilarious, Steph was not entirely sure Bruce would agree, but... it was kinda funny. But the overall highlight for her had been Cluemaster's 'exhibit'.   
  
It was smaller than all the others, and was shady as heck, mostly implying but not outright saying that Cluemaster was a loser who'd just stolen Eddie's shtick but worse. Best of all, a significant chunk of Cluemaster's exhibit was about her. Specifically - the Spoiler. Detailing how her first outing had been foiling Cluemaster, and that she'd beaten him basically every single time he'd tried to pull something since her first appearance, and calling her "A champion of the community, a Paragon against Plagiarism, and frankly someone who deserves a better nemesis." She had nearly died laughing at that. She basically never got any media coverage, who'd have thought the most positive review would have come from the Riddler of all people? She had taken several pictures of the exhibit, all of which she would cherish for always. Although she had noticed that she was starting to draw attention to herself - some creep in a ratty sweater barged past her while she was taking photos. She'd ignored him - no point in starting something over something so minor, but she coulda sworn he was weirdly familiar. She figured they should probably try to keep a lower profile - someone was probably gonna notice that she and Cass seemed to have a lot of weird inside jokes about Supervillains and it was either gonna out them as superheroes or worse - make them look like Supervillain groupies. They made their way on, but Steph stopped, noticing something weird. "Huh. Hey, Cass - This Hush guy. Isn't he the newest villain Batman's fought?"  
  
Cass mused. "I think so. Why?"   
  
"...Cuz there's a whole 'nother floor. Think it's a huge gift shop or something?" Steph speculated. It seemed like a reasonable guess. Cass just shrugged, taking her hand again and leading her toward the stairs. She was... not expecting what she saw when they reached the Third Floor.


End file.
